is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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