this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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