dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
