on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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