So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
