I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
