I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize