quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
