my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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