are you still at the devil's house?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
