It's Friday. Sex?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
