I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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