So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize