There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
