She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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