She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
