I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
