Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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