My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
