wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
