So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
