Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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