oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
