I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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