4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
