I accidentally had phone sex last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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