Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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