I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
