This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She announced her abortion via fbk
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
