it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
