She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
