Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
