i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I want is dick and wine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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