You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had to cum in my sink.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
