come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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