we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
