If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
