Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize