Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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