I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
