And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
