You really coming over, don't trick.
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
