Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
