what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize