Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
