just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
