his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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