we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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