Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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