man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
