the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
