just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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