so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
