Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
