We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
