is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize