dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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