are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize