Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
