I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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