Got a toothbrush?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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