I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
