i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
