All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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